That's me. In full Grinch-like glory.
Mother's Day always brings a mixed bag of emotions for me, it has for most of my life. Even though it's been 25 years, I still miss my mother. I don't like to wallow in sadness, but I struggle with resentment, jealousy, and feeling cheated on the whole mother relationship. And having a grandmother relationship for Annelise. Hence the Grinch moves in.
After being particularly cranky, easily irritated and impatient most of this week, Annelise brought an invitation home from school. I felt a bit Grinch like in giving up my time (it pains me to admit this, but it's true). For some reason I thought it would just be mom's mingling or something, and I figured I could leave quickly. I had no clue.
Some school mornings I manage to get myself somewhat together and my face on. Other mornings I wear the t-shirt I slept in and brush my teeth and go. Yesterday was a combination of the two. I dressed in capris and a top, sans make up except for lipstick, and a case of bed head. Remember, my mind set was that I would not stay long for the tea. Sip and go was my plan.
As I saw moms unload their children, all dressed up for a tea party I began to feel the urge to fight or flee. Once we were inside I realized two things, the air conditioner was NOT working and this tea party is completely different than I imagined. My non-made up, casually dressed, slightly sweaty self is going to a tea party.
As I gave Annelise a big hug to the sounds of "I don't want you to go, Mama." and left, my Grinch heart was beginning to grow.
Soon after I arrived home, the friendly UPS man left this at our door. I was so surprised! My Grinch heart was steadily growing, and growing.