5.21.2008

SPT: Something Borrowed

Lelly's challenge for May continues with something borrowed this week. After thinking on this for a sprinkle of time, I realized something very important to me that I have borrowed and continue to mooch from time to time.

I borrow mothers. Let me explain.

When I was a freshman in high school my mother passed away. Even though it has been about 25 years, I still am impacted by this loss in numerous ways. My father remarried, and my step mother and I fashioned a relationship of sorts. Through no fault of hers, I was resistant to allow her to take on too much of a mother role. I'm a stickler for boundaries at times.

I have been extremely fortunate throughout the different stages of my life to have close friends with strong mother/daughter/family relationships, so from time to time I borrow from their experiences. When they talk about their mothers or interact with them, I soak up the details and store them away in my brain. Not in a Talented Mr. Ripley or Single White Female way or anything, just living a tad vicariously through them. There are times when I feel a longing for that relationship, but I make do as best I can. I use my imagination. I enjoy looking at old pictures, reflecting on memories.

I wonder what our relationship would be like had she lived. Would we be close? Would we drive each other nuts? I wonder. I don't usually dwell too long though. I borrow my tidbits and I try to focus on being a mother.

(I hope this makes some sort of sense now that it's outside my head.)

Pop over to read about more things borrowed at Lelly's blog.

17 comments:

  1. First of all I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. I can't even imagine losing my mom at that time of life.. I'm so sorry!
    Second - My goodness you are so beautiful! I can't believe how pretty your features are up close. I hate to see myself that close up & could never post a picture like that. But you have no blemishes, no wrinkles, nothing... That's just not fair. How do you do it?
    I love your blog, you seem so down to earth & friendly...

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  2. Holly, this is such a beautiful and touching post. Thanks for sharing something so deep and heartfelt.

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  3. Holly,
    I love the old photos in your post. Makes perfect sense. What a legacy you are carrying on by being the wonderful mom you are to A. I am sure that your mom is beaming with pride! Thanks for sharing!

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  4. This is a precious post.

    Thanks you for sharing you heart!

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  5. Holly, you have such a sweet and tender heart. I am so blessed to call you friend. Thanks for sharing about your Mom. It is so great you have all those pictures and memories of her. I can't imagine all you have been through. I do know that you are a strong woman, wonderful example, forever friend and awesome mommy.

    And yes, everyone, she is beautiful..close ups and all! :)

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  6. Great picture and post. How tragic to lose your mom so young, but how blessed you are to have so many wonderful friends who honor their mothers by sharing them with you. Those pictures are amazing!

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  7. I love those old photos. You were so young to lose your mom. Great attitude you have in focusing now on being a mother.

    Great picture of you too by the way!

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  8. Your expression in this photo goes very well with the thoughts you expressed in this post. I see the questions you asked hiding there behind your eyes.

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  9. So glad you you are a mom, cause you are a great one and she is a blessed, sweet little thing.

    Lovely post, Holly!

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  10. I am loving your SPT. I think in the last year, I have maybe five pictures of me (because I'm always the one behind the camera). My kids need more pics of their mom.

    Sorry about the loss of your mom. What a hard time to go through that.

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  11. you just made me start me day off with tears. Thanks! Sometime it is all about perspective, and you have to hold on to the good times and memories. I almost lost my dad my freshman year of high school. Miraculously he is still with us

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  12. My mom is alive but lives far away. I borrow other moms too. Grandmothers for my children also.

    Just yesterday, I really imposed on an older woman and asked her to watch my twins as a favor. She was willing to do it because her grandkids live far away.

    Who says you have to be related to be family?

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  13. Holly this is a beautiful post.
    My Mom passed away when I was in my early 20's and as hard as that was, I can't imagine not having her during my high school years. I am glad that you have had other strong women to help you along the way. The pictures you have are priceless.

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  14. Dear fellow blogger,
    As I should be doing laundry, but find myself surfing blogs instead, I came across your blog.

    Your story is very touching and hits home. I lost my mom when I was five. I really don't talk about it too much, pretty sad really.

    Like you, my (step) mom and I have this 'interesting' relationship; and I now can take responsibility for my part in the lack of bonding there.

    I can probably go into so much more detail, but I just wanted to let you know I appreciated your blog. I also really like the idea of you including your pic, not necessarily for my viewing, but the fact that you have another record of yourself. I truly wish I had more pictures of my mother (not too mention all the other what if's there are when losing someone so very important).

    Many Blessings.

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  15. Holly, your Mama would be so proud....you are such a dear, precious person :)

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  16. I totally understand what you mean. And you can borrow me anytime. I think you should! Your mom would be very proud of you and no doubt you would be ( and were ) the apple of her eye. I know your mothering skills and am sure you inherited some of that from her and other "borrowed" moms that influenced you. Lucky A. Love you girl!

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  17. how amazing to share all of this in an spt post. all the photos say so much for you this week.

    i love that you are able to *borrow* mothers. i feel i've come to *borrow* a lot of bloggers when i'm missing something, or need a different way of doing things. again, in a GOOD way, not the Mr. Ripley way...

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