I must admit something to you, my dear bloggy friends.
I seem to have running self-esteem issues. It's true.
Even though I have been hooked on this running thing for about three years, at times I still doubt myself. Isn't that whacked?
Case in point: I completed my 26.2 in January, some seven months ago. Today was the first day I wore my finisher's shirt (to run like a hamster at the Y).
When people ask me about running the marathon, I usually trivialize it, or over-explain why my experience was different. Why can't I just say, "Yes, I did." Often I downplay my running when people ask or seem flabbergasted by the fact I love to run long distances. I always say, "Oh, hahaha...I'm really slow though...I'm in the back of the pack...blah, blah, blah." Maybe I say that because I want everyone to realize that if I can do this, well so can they; maybe because I am inwardly jealous of the people that run faster and make it look easier; maybe because I don't always believe myself; maybe it's a bit of all of that.
I've been pushing aside those silly worries lately though as I concentrate on my training for the Marine Corps Marathon coming up October 26th. Yikes! That's roughly 2.5 months away. Gulp.
Here is my latest running mojo trick I have been implementing as the weekly runs get longer. And longer. Before each run, I commit to one or two mile less than what is scheduled. That seems to give my brain an out in a way, then as the full distance approaches I finish it. This Saturday calls for 14 miles, I am committing to 12 and will hopefully pull out the final 2.
Apparently I am a passive aggressive runner. With control issues.