12.02.2008

Emergency Meditation Needed...or a Xanax

So apparently when faced with phone pauses, and I am already anxious, I become The Babbler.

All kinds of round about rambling phrases spew forth from my mouth.

I'm so embarrassed. And shaky.

Here's what happened:

I returned a phone call regarding a play date invitation for A. this morning. I explained that we would be busy that day, thanks for the invitation, blah-de-blah-blah. Pause. I went on about the upcoming crazy days as the holidays get closer, more blabber.

The mom on the other end was a Quiet Phone Talker, a Pauser. When faced with That Type, I overcompensate. It's a sickness really.

I continue to blather, finally taking a much needed breath. The mom suggests another date for a play date. Sweat breaks out on my brow, my brain spins a bit and say, "Uh...sure. That will be lovely." Or I might have read her our grocery list. It's a blur.

See here's the deal, the dirt, the down low: This will be A.'s first play date with a friend from preschool. A play date where she rides home with little friend to her house. Without me.

This makes me ALL kinds of twitchy.

A. has been over to friend's houses and vice versa, but moms have always tagged along as well, and they are all friends of mine from church anyway.

I'm sure it will be perfectly fine and I know A. will have a delightful time. I have met and interacted with the mom some, and I know another little girl from school goes over for play dates often. Yet. Still. I worry I fret. I blog.

How old were your children when they went on a Mom Not Allowed play date? Rode home with a friend? (A. is five--is that too young?) Am I freaking out unnecessarily? AARRGH!

Of course this will lead to a reciprocal play date, which is a whole OTHER issue. Anyone have a Xanax? Are you a Babbler or a Pauser?

17 comments:

  1. This is all kinds of funny! I'd love to hear a recording of this phone call.

    I don't think 5 is too young, especially if Anneliese wants to go. I think as long as you feel comfortable about the home she's going to then it will be fine.

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  2. oh I'm a blabber... it's not pretty.

    I feel your pain- been there with the play dates.

    I think it'll be great fun & all good. but, seriously, always go with your gut feeling on these things. The fact that you know the mom & have interacted with her helps a lot- still. You're a good mom & this is a new step. If A wants to go that's a good sign.

    In kindergarten trent came home with some kid once- I was completely shell shocked & crazed that someone let there kid come here without even talking to me or introducing themselves or anything!! What?? That was just weird. Maybe his mom had heard me blabber on & on at school & figured I needed someone new to talk to?

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  3. LOL ha ha I meant babbler- oh now I'm laughing out loud for real at the blabber mistake. Fraudian slip?

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  4. HAHAHA! I tend to get quite than I go to the other blabber extreme in 4 seconds flat. I am sure she will be safe and have a great time. Lil Buster is 5 and I still escort him, but he is requesting a sleeppver soon. What?!!

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  5. I wonder if playdates with a parent are regional thing...or a big town/small town thing?
    We live in a small town in SD, I've never went with my girls to a friend's house to play nor has a mom ever come to mine. When my girls have friends over (yeah we call it "have friends over" and never "playdates")...that's when I get all of my stuff done because they are busy playing with their friend. If I had another mom there to entertain that would defeat the purpose! ha!
    With all of that said, I've never let my girls go to someone's house that I didn't know the parents. But on the other hand, no one has ever asked them to come over in which I didn't know the child's parents either.
    Shayla went to her first b-day party sleepover in Kindergarten. But then again, the birthday girl’s parents we are good friends with.
    I’m thinking it’s a small town thing…everyone knows everyone so it’s easy to know everyone parents!

    PS I'm a babbler...can you tell? ;o)

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  6. i'd love to hear that call, too. i'm such a blabber. i blab in comments for crying out loud!
    i think, having a 4 year old, i'm ok with him going if i know the parents. if i don't, i usually request a tagalong- at least for the first playdate. i can't imagine sending him to someone's house from his class. there's one kid i'd let him go home with, but we've done things together as families...
    it's tough to explain that to other parents who don't share the same philosophy. i say she's your kid, you've got mom instincts, and you should follow them. :) you will never regret that.

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  7. Yeah, take a deep breath and let her do it. My kids were 3 years old when they started doing that. But then again none of them had separation issues. I guess I don't either! You know your daughter best, you decide. If its just you that's worried, let her go.

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  8. Holly, I pretty much agree with everyone else. It's hard to let the first one go. But, if you know and trust the parents, then she will be fine and she'll have a ton of fun! I agree with whoever it was that said it's more fun for you to have just a friend over and not the mom cuz then you can get a lot of stuff done without having to entertain the other mother, too! I can babble on, but only if the other person is a pauser.... funny post, but so understandable.. :o)

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  9. I'm hearing what you're sayin'.
    I hate uncomfortable phone calls. Pauses are the worst!

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  10. Holly, holly, holly.....
    Let sweet little A go :) I wouldn't let her go without knowing who the parents are, but if you know, she will be fine :)

    I know MOST mommies are over protective, but those of us who jumped through some extra hoops (adoption) maybe more so.....

    I used to take xanax occasionally....oh boy....it will make you relax. TOO MUCH!
    I have a little bit of good mail to send your way sometime this week.....
    oh, I am a babbler too! :)
    love, a

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  11. A will have a blast...maybe we need a Hobby Lobby run to take your mind off it! hee hee

    And you know me... blabber... no make that Queen Blabber!

    And thank you for adding more to cooks site... they are already printed for future meals!

    LOVE YA!

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  12. I would hesitate for sure if it was my 3.5 year old...I'd want to go with her first just to make sure there weren't any morally-offensive things in their house like Eminem playing or deer-heads on the wall (deer heads aren't moral offenses...just gross to us city folk)

    The same goes when she turns five, unless we have a common acquaintance, like maybe if my best friend's daughter had been over there five times already and had great experiences. I tend to be a little "much" sometimes though. So take it with a grain of salt.

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  13. Oh My!! Don't let her grow up and go! NO! NO! NO!...Ok, that's from a mother who keeps hearing, "K. needs to come play with ____ sometime!" My heart drops everytime I say, "sure, maybe sometime."

    I know that he would be fine...but really, it opens a whole can of worms!

    You better not listen to me but all of these other wise mothers!

    Miss ya!!

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  14. Oh- and I soooo don't see you as a babbler on the phone! You are always the wise slow to answer thinker!

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  15. Queen Babbler #2! Sad, but true...

    A will be fine. Its so fun for them but "nerve racking" (sp?)for us. I know exactly how you feel!

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  16. Thanks everyone for your comments and perspective. It's good to know many of you understand my nervousness, but also I appreciate the encouragement to let her go.

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  17. You know. I had the same exact "doom dreading" when my H. was about the same age. There was a little girl she adored and vice versa. But, I was so very afraid of the type of other lifestyle she was going to be exposed to as they were raising their children a little different (?) than I was. They live over things like that. It all turned out OK and a lifetime friendship was born. Although, H has shared things with me since that made me cringe!

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