Don't we all love to hear those words? Even though I don't hear them very often, I know they serve as an instant boost to my confidence. My self esteem can coast for days on words like those.
If you think about it though, are those words a compliment, an encouragement, or are they saying I notice you now and want to be around you? Know what I mean?
Recently I ran into a lady at Annelise's school and I could tell she had lost some weight, so I told her how nice she looked and good job and yada yada. I meant it as an encouragement to let her know her hard work was paying off.
But then I thought, did I talk much to her before? Occasionally.
And then I felt a tiny bit jealous. Or not so tiny. I hate that, but I did.
But then I think, "Why? Do I have to lose weight to feel like I look fabulous? Why aren't I more accepting of myself all the time? Why can I not be comfortable in my own skin, no matter the the size of said skin?"
I don't know. I'm 40 and still struggling with this. I have come to realize that negative self talk is terribly destructive and it's terribly ingrained. I can always find something to criticize no matter how thin I am at the time. I have looked back at pictures from high school, phases of college, young adulthood, early marriage and think, "Wow, I wish I looked like that now!" However, if I think a little bit harder I remember what I told myself at the time. I always found something to pick at or put down. Always.
So it comes down to me, my thoughts, no matter the outward evidence.
In case you can't tell, I've been in a bit of a downward spiral as far as my diet/exercise regime goes. Or doesn't go. I seem to be stuck in the vicious circle of one week good, one week terrible and then repeat. I'm trying to gather myself together and get my workouts going again, and trying not to sabotage them too badly with my food choices. Sigh. It's an ongoing process.
Here is my challenge to myself (and to you too):
*Notice something positive about someone else and tell them how fabulous you think they are. Sincere compliments about outward or inward traits are somewhat lacking these days, so let's make someone else's day. Mmm'k?
*If someone offers you a compliment stop the equivocating, don't diminish it. Say thank you.
*Exercise. Eat better. Drink water. Don't sabotage efforts.
*Don't criticize (yourself or others).
*Stop the negative self-talk. Don't. Do. It.
What do you think?