5.09.2010

Mother's Day = Mixed Emotions {and a new mop}

For most of my life Mother's Day has been a holiday filled with mixed emotions. Feelings of loss and longing came bubbling to the surface as I thought of visiting my mother and grandmother's graves at the cemetery. It was with a jealous eye that I watched other daughters celebrating the day with their mothers. I cringe with shame now as I remember neglecting to wish Ruby (my step-mom) a happy Mother's Day for years because I selfishly thought, "Why should I? She's not MY mother!" Oh, I was such a joy to have as a step-daughter I'm sure. As I've grown older, and hopefully more mature, I realize how lucky I am to have had an assortment of influential women in my life. Aunts, step-moms, godly women at church of all ages and experiences and close girlfriends have enriched my life greatly. I am lucky.

For many years those mixed Mother's Day feelings were coupled with a different yearning and grieving for a child of my own. To tell the truth, I still struggle to varying degrees with all of those emotions but they have been tempered greatly by the blessing of becoming Annelise's mother five years ago. On Mother's Day I also think of her birth mother in Russia and her generous gift to me. My life was changed forever by her decision and I am truly thankful.

Since Friday afternoon Annelise had been teasing and hinting about the special gift she made for me at school. She was bursting with excitement to give it to me then, but she somehow managed to wait until this morning.
Inside a decorated folder was a booklet of questions Annelise answered about me. Last night, Scott helped her answer a few more questions and her answers to both were a true delight to read. It was the perfect gift!

Today, after church we made a beeline for Tex-Mex (you aren't really surprised are you?) and then... we hit Target another for a *present* or two.Don't laugh and please don't report Scott and Annelise to the Inappropriate Mother's Day Gift Squad, but yes, that is a toaster, a mop and a fan you see in the cart (along with new sponges and 3-way light bulbs inside the plastic bag)*.

My family knows how to treat me right.

**Our fifteen year old toaster (it was a wedding present) has been on the blink, our mop needed to be replaced and it was in sweaty desperation while trying to apply my make-up this morning that I asked for a tower fan for our master bathroom.

Do you ever feel mixed emotions about Mother's Day?
How did you celebrate Mother's Day?
Would you feel cheated if your family gave you a toaster?

8 comments:

  1. As someone waiting to adopt, I'm thankful for Annelies's birth mother too...and thankful for your courage as well. It's not easy is it?

    ---Charity
    a long time follower, first time commenter...friend of Jen's from Alaska.

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  2. I do feel mixed emotions on mother's day...so thankful to be a mom myself. I miss being with my sweet 83yo mom (and I know she won't be here much longer..as in 20 years from now). And I do hurt for all those who have lost their moms or who want to be moms themselves. I think most every "holiday" actually carries with it mixed emotions. We went to a winery for lunch and we had a wonderful day. I had to find the place, make the reservations, print out driving directions and help my little guy on the side of the road for a puke stop but it was glorious in many ways. Hugs!

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  3. If I wanted a toaster for Mother's Day, I would not feel cheated at all. Sometimes I ask for things like that.

    I'm so glad you have Annelise and that you are a Mom. You are a wonderful one!! Happy Mother's Day.

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  4. I bought my own shoes on Saturday for Mother's Day! To me, it's not the actual gift, it's just being able to buy/receive a gift for mother's day.

    I understand the need for a fan. We had a fan in our bathroom up until we cleared out the house to sell it. I was wishing I could bring the fan back in this morning while I was getting ready, but I don't think it would look good to possible buyers that we have to keep a fan in the bathroom to keep it cool! It just doesn't say, "buy me! buy me!" ;)

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  5. Charity: Adoption is such a lesson in patience and faith, but is worth all of the emotional ups and downs. I don't know if we were necessarily courageous, but I think birthmother's definitely are. Wishing you a timely process without roadblocks or speedbumps--keep the faith!

    Jillian: You are right about each holiday stirring up emotions. Hope you enjoyed your winery trip--even though you had to do lots of prep. to get it to happen. :)

    Rhonda: I used our new toaster this morning and was thrilled not to have to hold or jiggle the cord just right in order to toast a waffle. Ha!

    Thank you for your kind words friend!

    Charlton: Man, that fan will be a lifesaver--or at least my sanity saver. Our bathroom's air vent seems teeny-tiny and gets HOT (especially w/ a shower, blow drier and flat iron in use). In hope this fan does the trick. Buying--or at least picking out-- our own gifts isn't such a bad thing after all! :)

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  6. I definitely have mixed emotions surrounding Mother's Day and have been a grumpy wreck in years past but have done alright the past two years, and am so grateful for that. It's not that my issues have been resolved, but with each year of maturity I feel like I'm able to come a little closer to making peace with some of it.

    Your Target purchases are amusing.

    I would love to have a fan in my bathroom, but there's no room for one so I often have to go to my bedroom to stand in front of the fan in there for awhile and then go back to the bathroom to finish my makeup.

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  7. Mother's Day brings out the b*tch in me! I don't know WHY! I really don't. I try to supress it each year, with varying degrees of success--but it's always aimed at Mike.

    Poor men--they can never express their gratitude properly.

    This year I was mellow and relaxed with ZERO expectations, and it was a great Mother's Day :)

    I am laughing so hard at your Target cart of Mother's Day goodness. hahaha! Classic.

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