7.20.2010

Two Phone Calls

Our restful peace was shaken a little bit this morning by two rattling phone calls. I guess phones don't really rattle anymore, but still. One phone call, which I sneakily screened through the answering machine, was a mom from school/VBS inviting Annelise (and me) to a lunch play date after VBS today.

Now this was the kind of play date I could handle, even though I don't know the mom very well, because we'd be at neutral territory (the Golden Arches) and I would be there. There was no intimidation or car-line-pick-up stalking, so things were good.

After VBS, I picked up Annelise and made arrangements to meet the mom and her daughters (and another mom and her daughter that I didn't know from Adam's cat) at McD's.

Even though this picture doesn't quite capture Annelise's brimming over excitement at all, never the less, she was thrilled. Really.
McD's is not my favorite place, but their giganto air conditioned play areas can't be beat in the dog days of summer. And there are free refills.

Not only did we have lunch, Annelise got to kill two hours of the day playing with a friend, I get a teensy tiny amount of credit (from her) for allowing Annelise to have a semi-play date with a school friend. Finally.
The other phone call this morning brought with it some sad news. One of my dad's elder brothers (and of course my uncle) had been struggling with a lot of heart problems these last several months and passed away early this morning. The funeral is planned for this Friday afternoon. On a selfish note, I was hoping it would be held in the morning while Annelise was at VBS. Now Scott and I have to decide whether or not she should go with me. Part of me, you know the huge avoider/ostrich part thinks she's too young and it would be traumatic for her--if not during the service, maybe afterwards (nightmares? worry?). The other part of me knows that funerals are something that are a part of life and can be a celebration. She knew my uncle pretty well and had visited him a few times over the last few months. I think she's curious about what a funeral involves and even mentioned that she wants to go.
But I don't know.
I know it might seem silly to seek advice from my blog, but y'all have never really led me astray, so...have your children attended funerals? How old were they? How did they handle it? Should I put something like this off for as long as possible? WWMBFD? (What Would My Bloggy Friends Do?)
Thanks y'all.

6 comments:

  1. I think it's good for kids to go. Especially if it's someone they knew and loved. I think they need some closure like adults need when it is someone they knew and loved. Plus, it teaches them to think about others and to help those who are grieving. I think if she wants to go and you don't let her, then she may imagine it to be far worse than it really is. Just my two cents. :) I'm sure she will have questions, but didn't we all.

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  2. Forgot to add my condolences on the loss of your Uncle. Please tell your Dad I'm thinking of him.

    ::hugs::

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  3. i am sorry to hear of your loss. i feel that it's important for kids to understand funerals, the loss of a loved one, etc. a year later, Jack refer to my grandmother's memorial as "Grabbie's party." he *got* it. in a way i could have never described to him secondhand.

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  4. I'm sorry for the loss of your uncle.

    I think Annelise will be fine going to the funeral. I would just make sure to talk about everything beforehand so she knows what to expect. Kids are so good about accepting things that she'll probably just add this new bit of info to her life knowledge and will be fine.

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  5. congrats on the successful playdate
    so sorry- about your uncle..

    I agree- take her!
    With all your religious teaching- it will confirm all she already knows about life. Life is good- death does not mean the end...etc.

    My brother in law unexpectedly died about 12 years ago (he was 36) He left behind 4 boys. They were so confused & worried about the funeral. It was really sad they had not been to one before this. Certainly, I don't think something will happen to you or scott, but my SIL never took a funeral opportunity & regretted it terribly. It was only tramtic (among other reasons) because they didn't know what to expect.
    My nephew asked brett a day or two before the funeral- if R.I.P. would be on his dad's grave & what did that mean?- he had seen this in cartoons.
    really sad.

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  6. Thank you all very much for your input and for sharing some of your own experiences. I think I am leaning toward taking her, even though I feel like I still have to gather my wits and courage together about the whole thing.

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