Birthday Brouhaha

Brouhaha might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I like that word and you know I am a fan of alliteration and hyperbole.

It's that time of year again, the time when Annelise's birthday rolls around and Scott and I have the never-ending conversations about having a party with (for?) her church/school friends vs. only having a family celebration.

Yeah, that horse? It's dead. And stinky. There might even be flies.

Last year we did a Star Wars themed party and invited Annelise's friends from church and school. It was crazy. It was fun. I might still be recovering.

This year Scott and I are once again on the party fence. And yes, her actual birthday is one week away. We've talked about having another friend party in our home, possibly with a Scooby Doo themed mystery to solve and we've talked about having her party somewhere like the roller skating rink (but only briefly because it's way too expensive for a large group).

And we can't get fired up about either of those options.

Since she is still so young she doesn't yet have a set, core group of close school friends, she has friends in both first grade classes. Would we invite only her class (12)? Would we invite both classes in order to cover all our bases and not hurt any feelings (24 kids)? Plus her church friends? Where do we draw the line? Is there even a line? Does she have to have a friend party every year? Do some people have buckets of money sitting around in order to throw massive kid parties every year? If we don't have one this year will she be scarred for life? Will we be riddled with guilt?

We don't know.

Aren't we pitiful?


  1. I don't know if you're actually looking for advice, but here's my two cents. And I am soooo not a party person. They stress me out!

    1) My husband reminds me that they are little and won't always want a party. Do a party while they still REALLY enjoy it.
    2) Don't invite everyone....too crazy.
    3) I'm always a fan of going someplace.
    4) Invite a select group of girls and/or boys from each class or church that she knows or would like to get to know better. Kids really bond at parties, and if there are too many no one will get to know each other.
    5) Don't hand out invitations at school. Makes kids who weren't invited feel badly.
    6) Plan something really fun for just you and your husband when the stress of the party is over...gives you something to look forward to also! :)

    Whatever you decide to do...good luck!

  2. i don't remember which years it was, but i do remember my parents taking me and a few friends out to dinner. we all dressed up like we were going somewhere fancy and then went to Olive Garden. Of course 20 years ago it was a treat to go out to eat, since we mostly ate at home.

  3. Holly,
    Gracie's birthday is next month and we didn't have a "party" last year for the big "7", but she picked one friend to go to build a bear with and then to dinner with us (parents). It was low key and the 3 of us on her actual birthday had a cake and of course, on the Sunday closest to the date with family for dinner after church. This year she wants a "baked potato bar" party and since I now homeschool, it's a bit easier with the kiddos situation....(I homeschooled last year too, but she picked a friend from her public school) anyway, we have decided on family and 4 friends, 3 from church (and their parents)...we are also having build your own nachos for those who don't adore spuds like G does! I have heard to have "only as many as the kiddo is old" (8 for 8th birthday, etc) but if we invite ANY family it will be bigger than her age! What does A want to do? Find a middle ground and don't stress :)

  4. We haven't had a kid party in several years. 3 of my kids have October bdays, as does Husband, so we started having Scottoberfest (a play on our last name and the month) a while ago. We invite all local family plus godparents and their children. It gets pretty big, but we ask everyone to bring side dishes to go with the barbecue we serve, so the burden is not too great. This has worked but now my girls are making noise about a party again. We are considering a mini-sleepover or something, but that is it.

  5. What about having her invite one or two of her favorite friends to go to a movie or to the arcade or something rather than a whole party? It's kind of fun to have a special outing like that instead.

    Otherwise for a party, I'd try to keep it small. You shouldn't have to do a huge gathering out of fear of hurting someone's feelings.


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