9.03.2010

Sugar, Sugar (ah, Honey Honey)

You are my candy girl...and you've got me wanting you...

(Pardon the long, ear drum piercing screech and scratch as I rip that record off my little Sears record player.)

I fear I should warn you.

Give you a head's up, maybe an out to just go ahead and click away, let you continue working your way through your Google reader (just promise to pop back over for a visit sometime, m'mkay?).

Because here I go again.

Trying to get myself together.

You know how it is.

Stop certain habits and replace them with better ones.

By now, especially if you've been a faithful blog friend through the years (LOVE you! Hugs! You are FABulous!), you've heard me say all this before--and you may yet hear it all again some day down the road--and you put up with me anyway.

I'm trying to break the stronghold that sugar has had over me one more time. It's really not my friend after all and it does terrible things to me both physically and emotionally. I don't have self-control, restraint or discipline when I am around it, such a lack of self-control that it's embarrassing.

And sinful.

I've been buying, baking, stashing, rationalizing and feeding this addiction for too long. To the point of asking Scott to enable me (and getting angry if he balked) by making night time emergency grocery store runs for Ben & Jerry's (and really, who eats only 1/2 a cup of the cute little pint anyway) or Oreos or whatever else was the form of sugar of the day. To the point of hiding what I was eating. To the point of burying the evidence in the trash as best I could. To the point I would feel out of sorts, edgy if we didn't have cookies in the cookie jar (or pantry) or ice cream in the freezer or candy stashed somewhere. To the point I felt it was my duty to eat all of it in order to get rid of it. And then repeat.

"Keep your servant from willful sins; may they not rule over me." Psalm 19:13

I felt guilty. And ashamed. And I wanted more.

I was trapped in a willful sin.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22-23

I was not displaying fruit of the Spirit.

Earlier this week I finally had enough of myself.

I started praying about it, confessing, asking for self-control, asking for day-by-day strength to break this cycle.

Guess what? I started feeling better, like, almost immediately.

God's kind of perfect like that, isn't he?

This new mostly sugar free *me* won't be perfect, I will likely struggle and start over.

But I'm trying.

10 comments:

  1. Oh Holly! I need to do that. GULP! Really. Thanks for the strength to try it myself.

    After this candy bar...

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  2. thankfully, I was eating an apple when I read this :)

    Yes, God is soooooo good to us if we only rest in His arms!

    One thing I really like to snack on for my sweet tooth is those mini quaker oats rice cakes....the chocolate ones with a little dab of peanut butter?! VERY GOOD....I count out the 8-9 it says for a serving and savor them. Try it and let me know what you think! I believe they have a dulche de leche, caramel corn and kettle corn flavor too.

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  3. I've always thought those pints of Ben & Jerry's were more like a hearty single serving...do people really stop half way?

    Good for you for recommitting and for bringing the Lord into it. I find that when I ask Him for help I try harder to do my part.

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  4. Holly - All God's blessings to you! I think sometimes people think summer is a great time to get in the groove with the eating and exercise but to me it's just so gosh darn hot - who wants to purposely sweat and who wants to pass up a cold tasty margarita? haha. And I know you know what you need to do. The starting is just so hard. so, so so hard. And remember that caffience and sugar craving go hand in hand >>>> the insulin levels...remember. Also, see if you can find a Dr. to give you B12 / antioxidant shots. I have been taking them almost weekly since I lost 30# this time last year and they work wonders - especially for PMS symptoms and other crap we suffer over 40. The caffiene though - huge. Love ya! and Good luck!

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  5. Thanks for the verses... I have heard and read the Galatians verses so often but conveniently forget the bit about self control... I can exercise til the cows come home but food... A whole other issue. I love ice cream like a long lost sister. Sigh... :)

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  6. Holly, do you know who Lysa TerKeurst is? She is a Christian author and speaker who went completely off sugar a year ago and wrote about the journey on her blog. She has a new book coming out soon called Made to Crave, about this very topic. You can read more about it here: http://lysaterkeurst.com/2010/08/big-announcements/. Thought maybe her blog would be an encouragement. She is awesome (and very funny!).

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  7. I have heard what Jillian said about the B12 shots as well. Good luck, and I like your approach this time around. I feel so much more capable of doing hard things when I ask God for His help!

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  8. Thanks y'all for your understanding and encouragement! I appreciate y'all SO much!!

    The timing of all this was probably bad because we celebrated Annelise's birthday over the weekend and there was cake and ice cream in the house. But, I'll pick up the pieces (and crumbs) and get back on track again!! And again!

    Jillian: Thanks for the info. about B12 etc., I'll have to look into that. Right now I'm still having coffee but have cut out Diet Cokes, tea, etc. I know coffee should go too--and it might soon--we'll see.

    Valerie: Thanks for telling me about Lysa Terkeurst's new book coming out. I've read her blog some but not her whole sugar free journey. I'll be looking for her Made to Crave book/bible study when it comes out in December.

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  9. Hey, good news! Not ALL coffee is bad! Really! I'm not kidding! It's just what you put in it~

    Girl! Don't touch my coffee :)

    We could have a long talk about flour and sugar! But don't talk to my adorable husband...he is still adjusting!

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